What I want from my Dom!

It’s June, Gemini month and I was thinking about the juxtaposition of all the things I want from my Dom.  It sounds like hard work being a Dom because when I ponder it, I have a long list of wants!

I caveat this with the fact that I am sure every sub has different wants – and I am sure others have written much more profound articles on this topic than me.  But here is my I want, I want, I want list!

I want him to make me feel safe

This is my most basic want, probably better described as a need, from my Dom.  I need him to make me feel safe

Yes safety in the sensible play sense – stopping when I use my safeword or if he can see I am really struggling; or knowing when to stop if he has his hands or his belt around my throat as I cum

But more than that, I want him to hold me in his arms, rest my head on his chest and make me feel safe.  I need that intimacy just as much as I need the roughness

And hand in hand with this are care and respect.  When he spanks me until I cry or makes me scream when he pushes into my arse too roughly, I need to know that ultimately, he cares about me, my wellbeing, my pleasure, my happiness

I also need to know he respects me for the person that I am.  Knowing he has that respect for me means that being called his slut or told I am only fit to be a fuck-toy, is a huge turn on.  Without that, it would just feel like insults

I want him to make me feel vulnerable

I said it was a juxtaposition!  As well as making me feel safe, I also want him to make me feel vulnerable

I love feeling very exposed in front of him.  The power dynamic when he is fully clothed and wants to inspect my naked body

One of my absolute favourite moments is when he lays me out naked on the bed and slowly works round each corner tying my wrists or ankles to the bed post.  My whole body becomes so completely sensitised as the delicious anticipation surges through me

I feel so vulnerable, so exposed, so completely at his mercy.  My head races with ideas of what he might choose to do to me.  When he chooses a Hitachi wand, taping it to my thigh so the head is pressed hard against my clit and I can’t do anything but take the sensations and the resulting climaxes

I want him to be in control

One of the most freeing and wonderful elements of my relationship with my Dom is the handing over of control to him when we are together.  He is in control; he makes the decisions and I just need to obey and take what is given to me

If he decides I need to lay down with my head off the end of the bed so he can spend some time fucking my face, then that is what I will do.  If he tells me bend over and he puts on the cock ring with the dildo attached so he can give me double penetration, making me cum over and over until I feel I can’t take any more, then that is what I will do

Now, please don’t think I am always the most well behaved sub, I can talk back or try and resist and I am regularly told off for rolling my eyes at my Dom, but ultimately I do as he tells me

And I also don’t expect him to drive every idea for what we do, we regularly plot and plan before our next meet up, exciting each other with new ideas and I regularly suggest new things I would like us to try.  But as soon as we start to play, he is the one in control

I want him to discipline me

I love that he disciplines me.  One weekend he gave me homework.  He instructed me to watch a video from The Upper Floor (my porn of choice), in which a submissive demonstrates six poses.  I was to learn each so I could replicate perfectly for him.  When we were next together, I demonstrated each for him – any imperfections, such as my hands the wrong way up or my back not arched sufficiently, earned me sharp smacks with the crop until they were rectified

The standing positions require my legs to be just far enough apart that he can comfortably cup my sex, so it is fully available to him (which beautifully reinforces his position of control) – and if they are not the perfect distance apart my inner thighs will get slapped

The other key area of discipline is requiring me to control my orgasms – I cum super easily so this is hard for me.  I know I am not allowed to climax until he gives me permission.  I just cannot always manage to contain myself long enough!

I want him to overpower me

I find rough play utterly thrilling.  Sometimes I want him to tell me to do something and I give him a sassy look, put one hand on my hip and say “Make me”

I want him to growl at me and push me down hard onto the bed

I want to struggle as he forces my legs wide apart

I want to cry “No” and push him away, as he holds my wrists, gripping them painfully tightly

I want to bite at him as he pins me to the bed and penetrates me

The thrill is in the struggle, we both know he will win, but I want to feel him physically overpower me

I want him to punish me

I do actually want him to punish me.  Sometimes I play up to get punished, but sometimes I just fail at a discipline task – particularly the orgasm control ones!  Or I might have been a naughty girl, such as, showing up to see my Dom and forgetting I was told to not wear knickers; or masturbating without asking his permission

Both he and I know that there are some punishments that I really enjoy – like being spanked over his knee.  There are also those which are genuinely hard limits for me and those remain off limits.  But there are also some that I love to hate

Even though they are punishments I dislike, my submissive self also needs to be punished in this way.  Bent over the desk and severely spanked with his belt; being made to hold open my pussy lips so he can spank my clit with the crop; the nipple clamps going on and him tugging at the chain between them; figging – where he inserts a bulbous piece of ginger into my arsehole for added burn while he spanks me

I hate those punishments and I love how it makes me feel when he punishes me in that way

I want him to make me feel sexy

I know that my Dom finds me incredibly sexy and this is hugely intoxicating

When he is about to spank me until I cry, first he will caress my bottom reminding me how gorgeous he finds it

Sitting back, he at looks at my breasts, whispering “I love these gorgeous big tits” before he closes his teeth around the nipples or smacks at the sensitive flesh

He positions me in front of the mirror before pushing his thick cock into my tight arsehole.  As I cry out, he will pull my hair, forcing me to look at my reflection, pointing out how sexy I look as I moan and take cock

I love when he pins me down on the bed or against the wall, looking into my eyes as he thrusts into my pussy and tells me how he cannot get enough of me

I want him to degrade me

To many this will seem absurd, but being made to do degrading acts at the hands of my Dom is highly arousing for me

I want to be made to crawl across the floor to him, to have him slap my face with his cock while I beg to be allowed to take him in my mouth

I want him to grind his arse into my face, using the crop if I need “encouragement” to use my tongue more deeply in his hole

I want him to spit on me and call me a whore as he fucks me hard

I want him to “inspect” how wet my pussy is getting while he fucks my face and laugh at me for being such a needy slut

All these elements heighten the whole experience for me

I want him to make me orgasm

I know for some people BDSM style play is an end in itself.  The ultimate satisfaction is in the spanking or the caning.  Not for me

I want him to make me orgasm over and over and over

When he spreads my legs, holds my pussy lips apart and licks me until I am tingling and screaming with the pleasure of my orgasm

When he rubs his thumb over my clit and pushes his fingers inside me, probing for my G-spot and I squirt all over his hand as I cum

When he penetrates any one of my holes with his delicious thick cock and thrusts in and out of me until I am moaning with pleasure as multiple climaxes rock over me

I also want him to cum, I want to go home with his cum buried deep inside me

I want us to laugh together

And finally, I also want us to laugh together (the observant amongst you will have noticed the slight change in the format of this title)

To me, this is really important.  I want all the things above, but I also want us to laugh and have fun together.  This makes it magical for me

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If you enjoyed this, you might enjoy hearing more about how I like my Dom to degrade me